Sometimes I just talk too much and sometimes I don’t say anything at all. For the latter times, here are my thoughts.

25 Things About Me


I will try to keep this clean as I have done some shady/ less than ideal things.  Don’t worry.  There was no crime involvement, just a lot of curiousity and or rebelliousness.  :D
 

1.  I lick the inside of cans when I have soup.  I avoid doing that now but sometimes, when no one is home, I do it. 

2.  I’m really lazy when I get home.  I take off my shoes, my socks, my pants, my shirt and just stop at my underwear.  I walk around in my underwear.  At home.  A lot.  Darryl is used to it now. 

3.  I drank watermelon liquer in the shower once.  This was on a dare/I-can-do-better-than-you event.  I drank it under a hot shower and 20 minutes later, I came out drunk as a skunk and passed out on my friend’s bed.  (I used to live in an apartment in the military base.)  Darryl had to carry me back to my room.   I woke up in the middle of the night, sick, and vomited on the garbage can beside my bed. 

4.  I wanted to marry Gary Valenciano when I was really young.  I thought he was so handsome. 

5.  I love getting dressed up like a girl.  I love wearing dresses and high heeled shoes.  I love make up but I do not wear it all the time now.  Maybe I wear it once or twice a year now.  However, I spend exorbitant amounts of money on it and other girly products like lotions and moisturizers. 

6.  I am a bit standoffish when I meet new people.  It just takes me a while to warm up to people.   

7.  I was 17 and at home with my first dog named Gigi.  She was a rottweiller.  (That is neither here nor there.)  I saw a bottle of what looked to be wine in the kitchen.  I wanted to drink it and experience “drunken nights” the kids talked about.  I took the bottle and then changed my mind then put it away.  A few weeks later, my parents were holding a party and my mom asked if we could serve the wine- the same wine I was eying up.  My dad said “no” and explained that it was not wine, it was kitchen cleaner.  Gulp!

8.  Around 17 years: One time, my dad was building a shed in the back.  At the end of the night, he would put the tools in my room since it was the closest.  No big deal.  I saw this one tool and marvelled at its pristine condition and shiny-ness.  (It was a staple gun.)  I started playing with it and pulled the trigger infront of my head.  I then put it infront of me, pretended to be some superhero and aimed at the wall.  The staple gun fired a staple right at the wall.  It stuck.  My breath stopped when I realized what just happened. 

9.  I was in Afghanistan and my ex-friend decided to drive erratically.  We were driving the G wagon- the army version of the Mercedes Benz G wagon.  Due to its top heavy feature (the C6 machine gun and the turret added to its top heaviness), the vehicle flipped to its passenger side.  I was the passenger.  Everything in the vehicle fell to my side and I hit my head against the window.  Good thing I had my helmet on.  I passed out then was woken up by Raph, the driver.  We got out and I became upset at seeing the whole mess.  The C6 weapon barrel was bent!  That’s pretty hard to do.  Anyway, I was glad that I did not sit in the turret, which was supposed to be one of my tasks.  If I was there, the vehicle would have crushed me or killed me.  Yes, so Raph is now my ex-friend.  I have never forgiven him because he lied in trial about that event. 

10.  Sometimes I wonder if it is always better to be with someone my age but then I remember how much Darryl understands me.  He lets me be me and for that, I would not want it any other way.

11.  I keyed my mom’s car a few times when she made me angry.  Usually we fight over the…She makes mountains out of a mole hill. 

12.  I get along with my dad more than my mother.  He talks to me like another adult and dispenses the best advice.  My mom, on the other hand, can not be approached. 

13.  I am foul-mouthed but only when I am physically exhausted, upset or just irritated.  Just being honest.  I can be professional when I need to be though.  Unexpectedly, some people mention that they never heard me curse and the reason for that is that they have never seen me upset. 

14.  I value my friendship, a lot.  I hate it when I cry or get upset over things and so, if you have seen me upset or cry, I consider you to be a good pal and trustworthy.

15.  I LOVED expensive purses: Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Prada.  My next endeavour WAS a Chanel.  I liked them because no one else had the same purse as me.  Now, I am getting bored with these superficial things and have stopped collecting them.  I feel more self-satisfaction when I save up more money.  I am slowly distancing myself from these “measures of successes” because it feels like temporary happiness for me. 

16.  I am fiercely protective of the ones I love and care about.  I almost got into a fist fight with another girl at a Three Days Grace concert because I brought my little nephew.  I wanted him to have a better look and things escalated…

17.  I tend to pick my fights but this was not the case when I came back from Afghanistan.  Seeing funeral ceremonies for dead soldiers were still fresh in my head.  A few weeks after my homecoming, my mom and I were in an argument.  Things were thrown and words were exchanged.  I finally exploded and raised my fist at my very own mother.  I realized what just happened so I put my fist down, walked away and sat in the basement to calm down. 

18.  My heart still breaks at the news of another Canadian soldier dying from a roadside bomb in Afghanistan. 

19.  I moved out of my parent’s house at the age of 21 and it was the best thing I have ever done.  I have learned so much about people and the world when I was on my own. 

20.  I bought my first condo at the age of 22 from years and years of saving money.  Every time, I want to throw in the towel with work, I think of how much I have come and what I have achieved through my hard work and persistent. 

I can not think of anything else so I will write more later.  :D
21.  I love sushi.  Maybe too much.  I actually crave it every Thursday and Friday and yes, the weekends.  I am a creature of habit and trying to resolve this “problem”.  I love avocados and shrimp.  *Drool.*  I love beef tataki- rare beef tenderloin marinated in ponzu sauce. 

22.  I am very uncomfortable opening up to my superiors.  That is just how I am.  I get nervous and think the most pessimistic thoughts when the big wigs start to make small talk with me. 

23.  I’m fairly cynical.  I am trying to change it but I do not trust anything or anyone until I have tried it.  I am also quite jovial, immature, loving and trustworthy once you get to know me.  I would go to the ends of the world for my loved ones. 

24.  I HATE showy people.  I hate it when people advertise what their “honey” got for them.  What’s the point of doing that?   

25.  I love to travel.  Unfortunately, the expense can not keep up so things are sacrificed.  That’s okay.  I also love it when my husband rubs my back before I fall asleep.  I love cold rooms to sleep in, hotels, trying new foods, trying new things, new technology, learning about the body, walking around in new places and reading blogs. 

 

So, that’s me, in a nutshell.  No non-sense, practical and certainly quite a mystery to some.  There are people who love me for it and I, in turn, love them more for this.  Now, I am tagging everyone to write 25 things about themselves.  Go ahead.  I would love to get to know everyone a little bit more.

I’m thinking of you


I had a girl’s night out with my friends while Darryl did his own “boy” things with Andy, his friend.  That is how we are.  Even when we go to the mall, we separate and just meet.  I’m content with that.  I know he will always be waiting for me and I will always come back to him.  Metaphorically, as well.  I guess I was feeling a bit melancholic yesterday.  My high school friend just told me she was diagnosed with cancer last year, finished her radiation and now, she’s out of the woods.  Let us pray it stays that way.  All along, I thought much about her husband and I thought about mine.  I would be lost without his guidance, his love and his reassurance. 
Words can not truly express how much I love him.  I did not want another second to go by without telling him how much I love him so, I decided to send him a text message. 
“I thank the heavens that someone as good like you was sent to me.  I want nothing else but your love.  You are my heaven on Earth.  I wait for you.”
He came home at 10 that night from his boyhood adventures with Andy.  I was fast asleep on the couch when he arrived.  Usually, he rouses me from my slumber on the couch.  I, in turn, get irritable and whine all the way to the bedroom then fall back asleep again.  This time was different.  It was sweet.  He took a pillow and slept beside me, rubbing my calf.  We fell asleep and did not rise until 12 am that morning, to move back into our bedroom.  I’m guessing he read my text message. 
I don’t like to sound so philosophical or religious but I am thankful to God.  He made him for me.  I fit into his arms when he gives me a hug after a tiring day.  Even when I hug him from behind, I fit.  We just fit like a puzzle piece.  So, here is something that would best describe what he truly means to me. 
Halo” by Beyonce
Remember those walls I built
Well baby they’re tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It’s like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin’
It’s the risk that I’m takin’
I ain’t never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
Woah…

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light
I swore I’d never fall again
But this don’t even feel like falling
Gravity can’t forget
To pull me to the ground again

Feels like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin’
The risk that I’m takin’
I’m never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo)

Halooooo ouuuu
Halooooo ouuuu
Halooooo ouuuu
Ouuuuu ouuuuu ouuuuu

Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo
I can feel your halo (halo) halo
I can see your halo (halo) halo

Soldier killed in a roadside bombing attack


Mr. Greenfield passed away today.  He was a soldier, an engineer by trade, a sapper by title.  As a soldier, I could not help but feel terrible sadness for this young man and his family.  What I found astounding is not the actual event but the actual arguments from armchair politician wannabes and ignorant people.  It upsets me because they are persistent in their argument: it’s America’s war!  Some refer to it as America’s problem; some say it’s about the oil; some say it is the inferior leadership that Prime Minister Harper has displayed in Canada.  They all scream out the same thing.  For goodness sake, get over yourself.  Take a quick minute and think about Sapper Greenfield’s family.  You should be sending out thoughts of condolences to his family, not argue about how technologically- inferior Canadian equipment is to another nation.  Think about his family and what they are going through right now - they are going through unbearable sadness right now. 

I may not know a lot about everything but this I know, it pains me to hear of another family seeing their child come home in a box.  No one should have to deal with that.  However, those soldiers knew this was a price for a job they love to do. 

Regardless of what you think about the war, consider the pain the family is going through.  Stop thinking about the politics and the leaders involved! 

Rest in peace, Sapper Greenfield.  My sincerest condolences to your family.  You are in a better place now.  CHIMO!

“Why don’t you stand there and look pretty!”


I had a good day yesterday.  I went to work early, went for a run then made supper for the husband.  It was pretty routine for me.  Later at 6 pm, I dressed myself to go to work at my army unit.  As a reservist, I work at my unit every Wednesday and Saturdays.  Some weeks, I work from Friday night until Sunday evening.  Straight.  I can sleep so don’t worry about being tired.  Anyway, I showed up at my work, did some heavy lifting tasks and went away to do some paperwork.  I went back to help out with the tasks again an hour later.  One of the guys actually commented that it was convenient for me to show up after the work was done.  Later on, he remarked for me to stand there and look pretty. 

I was mortified.  “Who the fuck do you think you are?”  (Pardon my language.  I hate playing the subordinate-and-supervisor role so I am not going to use that as my argument.)  I was flabbergasted.  No one had ever talked to me like that before.  I was hurt and embarassed since I always pride myself in being a hard-worker.  I am always out there to lend a helping hand and show up when people under my supervision do not.  How dare you say that! 

I was so angry because some moron took his anger out on me and I could do nothing but just walk away in disgust.  I was too upset to say anything.  I have always worked hard, worked with guys who were more respective of my own sex whilst being sexist pigs themselves.  (Oh the irony!)  How dare he say that!  Yes, I am still upset.  I have worked 7 1/2 years and NO ONE has ever said that to me.  I wanted to give his head a shake.  Argghh, he just made me so angry with his quip!  Such sharp tongues! 

I feel like I have to defend myself now.  I have always worked hard.  On exercises (working 24 hrs or more in the field), I am always with the subordinates working with them, setting up equipment and tents.  I sweat along side with them.  I complain along side them.  I grin and bear it along side the privates and corporals.  And the funny thing is that my Sergeant Major always tells me to practice authority, practice bossing the privates around and making sure I ACTUALLY supervise them.  Basically, he wants me to stand there and make sure they do their work instead of doing it with them.  It helps build leadership skills.  Where was I in this rant? 

Anyway, I am just too upset even a day after the event.  This sours my mood and ruins the work atmosphere.  I do not need hostile tempers in my work environment.  I need semblance, order and not some sour-tempered asshole dick who can not stand to work.  He just….Arghh, this pisses me off so much. 

I guess I feel a bit better now.  Yes, that’s it.  I’m just bitching.  I can’t stop swearing when I feel upset.  My vocabulary shortens as my temper lengthens.

Scary dream


Ever since I could recall, I have always had weird dreams.  My friends who know about my dreams say they are so bizarre and so lucid.  I guess maybe I just have an over-active imagination before I go to bed at night. 

As a result of my dreams, at times, I wake up swearing out loud or just yelling something random.  Sometimes, I laugh and I think I would rather enjoy that than waking up crying.  One night, I had a dream about my mother passing away.  I woke up in tears and Darryl had to reassure me that my mom was probably asleep in her own warm bed.  Last night was no exception again to my frightening dreams.  I had dreamt that my brother and my cousin died in a storm on a boat trip across the islands.  My other brother came into my room to wake me up and tell me that they were gone.  Just like that.  I began to cry and wail and then demanded to call my sister to ask her if she was okay.  I woke up from my dream, crying.  Darryl quickly ran into the bedroom to comfort me, telling me once again that it was just a dream.  Just a dream.  I’m glad.